About Me

My first memory of Athena, was at the age of three and a half.  I know I was that age because it was at the christening of my little brother at the local church.  I recall the sensation of my little red velvet dress shining vibrantly in the early morning light.  Secondly, I recall being uneasy as the Minister purposefully strode towards me outside the Church, and placing his hand on my head he whispered to me, “blessed are you”.  My glance up at him of innocence belied the thought that appeared in my mind of, “Oh if only you knew”. 
That day, those actions and thoughts remained with me as a mystery… until I met Athena, Goddess of Wisdom, Goddess of War.
Paul, my husband, and I were driving through a mountain pass late at night.   A slam on the rear passenger window startled us.   Through the gloom I depicted a “blob” stuck underneath the window’s perspex rain guard.   Occasionally, over the next two hours, I turned to check if the blob had blown off, but it remained.
Reaching our destination we were incredulous to discover the blob was a morepork, a little native owl.  Carefully, we placed the creature in a nearby bush and for the next couple of weeks were to give it little thought.
I had long pondered seeing a psychic who, upon my eventual call for an appointment assured me, “It’s not a reading you need – nope – the guides have a much different course for you!”  I was nervous, agitated during the appointment’s ensuing days. 
The psychic rubbed his hands in glee as we met.  Settling into the chair he urged me to relax, surrender.  I had nodded, acquiescing with clarity to the inevitable.
The peace and serenity was delicious.  I felt beautifully in control until my body shot bolt upright.  My neck elongated, my chest swelled.
“Ok ok who have we here?” the psychic asked quietly.
Out of my throat came “aa… ee… Athena.”
“And who are you Athena?” he urged.
“Goddess Athena.”
The psychic was excited, “Welcome, Athena.  Julie’s going to ask you a question.”
I was terrified, mystified, “Oh and I suppose you’re from Athens,” I derided.
Within me, but being me, she turned and spoke huskily, “Oh my beloved, welcome. I’ve waited so long for you.  How long it’s taken for you to be ready.  I am the patron saint to Athens.  My temple is the Parthenon.”
Then the tears started.  My tears.  This felt right.  I knew this woman.   And she started…
“This is the truth.  You are an aspect of me.  I am aspect of you.  We are joined and in this joining so shall we empower women.  For too long now women have overpowered men.  Now women are in high positions of authority, within their homes, their relationships and their businesses – I honour this strength.  But in this process, so too, women have ignored their goddess energy.  Women’s god energy has become predominant which is effectively disempowering men.  With women becoming more dominant, men are losing their natural instinct to protect, to provide.  This in turn causes frustration to women as instinctively they want a partnership with a strong, protective man.  Imbalance is prevalent between the sexes.  The true stance of a leader, a warrior, when all negotiation has broken down, is to fight only to defend the realm.  Your women fight just so a battle, any battle can be won, to prove they are worthy.  Often the battle is needless.  This is known and hence is greatly destructive to a woman’s worth.”
“Further,” she continued, “women are lost.  As they struggle to acknowledge their power and beauty so they turn to god like activities, hence further weakening their goddess side.  So in times of femininity, that is when their natural goddess emerges, they become unfamiliar with the soft emotions.   With panic, they are uncertain as to how they look.  Am I interesting? Am I intelligent?  To be a goddess is to be all-woman and to rest in that beauty entirely.  So, women strive to reach their femininity through clothes, colours, artefacts.”  
“Oh my beloved, through you, I am now here to work with women to find their true selves;  to change this belief that the ultimate desire is to have power; to teach them to be balanced in god and goddess together.  I impeach women to embrace this concept.  To trust their inner wisdom that all will be as they desire it to be.  Business will be achieved, femininity will be achieved, trusting relationships will be achieved.  
It is of necessity that women learn to receive.  That they resonate with the joy of being given to, that they know what it’s like to be given to.  Whether they are in positions of control over many or in positions of control in their domestic domain, they need to be open to the feeling of being given to.  By being open to receiving, so shall they then be given to.  Then, they shall rest in that energy.  As with the sexual act, the role of women is to literally receive.  However, in your modern times, there is not enough joy for women as they make love.  They are not attaining the full completeness, the one human experience that allows women and men to connect with their own boundlessness.  And so, in not experiencing this complete surrender, but knowing instinctively that something is amiss, they believe they need to address their outer structure as mentioned – attire, adornment, possessions, power.  Or they choose to blame their partner for lack of satisfaction.
But simply, it is their hearts and belief systems that need to be opened and changed.  Then they can truly receive and feel love pouring into them thence creating balance – given and received in endless quantities.   With this balance in place, so will all areas of life require less effort and will grow ever more expansively.
 You understand Julie.  I am you.  Both our roles of civil duty to agriculture are merely of duty.  As with me, it’s of little interest to you, but again, we both have inherent abilities to fulfill these roles, and guide others to success as they serve in the industry.”  
Athena laughed, “and further my beloved, as we move through our day of leadership so do we turn to the light rigour of embroidery.  Our agility with the needle is poor but the fulfillment of the process is cherished.  I was further the Goddess of Needlework,” she continued, noting my acceptance of facts.  “Surely, this work creates calming and meditative thoughts, another skill that is lost in your human times”.   I felt her sadness as she made this statement.
I wanted to droop but outwardly Athena held us tall and strong.  “My physical bearing is your bearing.  The length of my body is your length, our natural grace and elegance are one together.  Our connection with wisdom is our life’s purpose and when we are brought into war, it is that wisdom that enables us to negotiate.  However, when negotiation is impossible, so too, are we fierce warriors.  We fight to protect, and we fight relentlessly, seeking only victory over inferiority.  So too, is this called arrogance. 
Arrogance is belief, self belief that one can do anything.  Your culture believes arrogance to be disdainful.  Consider this point,” and she paused.   
Athena lowered her head.  Her voice softened, “I bow in reverence to you my beloved.  There is no other.  I have waited for you.  I bow in reverence to your suffering and to the growth you have achieved.  As were you catapulted into enlightenment when your sons were born blind so too was I when I unwittingly rendered my sage advisor blind, purely because he agitated me.”  The emotion was deep in her voice.  Fear leapt to my throat as she dared to acknowledge the preciousness of my sons.
 “My beloved, you knew this.  You knew from youth what your journey would be,” she whispered. 
“I’m over this.  Goodbye,” I choked.  I started to rise but immediately halted as a warmth drained from my body.
Weakly she implored, “as with the owl, my symbol, so too are you protected by the sanctity of your younger son’s affiliation to wildlife, especially birds.  Instinctively, throughout his childhood, you encouraged his breeding programmes with many species, marveling at his unique gift,” she paused for effect and concluded “… yes the owl.  That exercise was a gentle awakener from me to you.  Pallas will aide your strength as you accept me,” and I felt her fade.
I slapped the fee on the table, thanked the incredulous psychic, and stumbled out the door.  Pallas?  How did she know Pallas, my term of endearment to Paul?  I reached the car and collapsed in, feeling absolutely exhausted.   I met my eyes in the rear vision mirror and slowly become aware of the new feeling of completeness, wholeness.  
“Well.  Right,” he exhaled heavily, slowly.  “You’re not kidding are you?” Paul leant across the kitchen bench to me.   “So you feel her inside you, hear her in your head and she speaks out your throat?” I nodded wearily.  I adore this wonderful man but I’m quite realistic at how he may judge this.   “Ok”, he leapt up, “let’s Google her!”  I turned to make a cup of tea aware of him eagerly flicking on the computer.
Moments passed and I placed our hot drinks on the desk.  Leaning against his back, I closed my eyes as, seated, he read from the screen “…‘Pallas was Athena’s childhood companion.  One day in swordplay as warriors, Athena accidentally slit open Pallas’ abdomen from navel to crotch, killing her’…” he paused and twisted to look up at me in disbelief.
“Yea, just like Sam, just like Sam”, I whispered hoarsely.  Our beautiful son had, only two months previously, emergency surgery and had been slit the length of his abdomen – he lives. 
Paul continues “… ‘Athena was mortified and in Pallas’ memory, took her name ie Pallas Athena…..known for her determination to initiate the craft of embroidery to the people of Athens…extolled the virtuosity of virginity at all costs’…” he slowly closed the laptop lid, “it’s all you.  It’s all you. What are you going to do with it…her?” he asked simply.
“I don’t know.  How the hell would I know?” I replied irritably.
“Let’s ask her!” Typical of Paul to set a game plan, I thought wryly.
“Are you sure?  What if, you know, something freaky happens?  I might, like, not come back or something…” but he just stood looking at me with his eyebrows raised.
“Something freaky has already happened and we need to find out more,” he stated.  He was equally curious and suspicious.
So we sat.  Paul opposite me.  Within seconds, she was there, in me, around me, becoming me.  I felt her vibrating, absorbing, assessing the new energy.  Paul’s energy, I realized to myself. 
And then she started, her voice deep and low, warm in my chest, “Welcome Paul, I bow in reverence to your godliness.  Should I have had a lover, so would he have been of your ilk.  Well do you serve Julie.  I thank you for the strength you have unwittingly been to her over two decades as she has battled to reach this level of awakening within her body.  Now she can truly glorify in her power as a woman knowing that it’s the balance of god and goddess that results in full and balanced empowerment. 
For you to be godlike, and the name Paul is defined as ‘godlike’, so too do you require balance.  Balance will prevent you from acting with brawn alone.  Balance will open you to the sensitivities of issues which in turn will attract peace into your life.  Many men attract brutishness into their lives, because they act with full brute strength in all they do.  That is, they expect to combat everyone with whom they have dealings and relationships.  Women who fall into this realm of brutishness become victims of abuse. 
Conversely, when women act out of balance because their god energy is raised to outer proportions, so too, do the men in their realm feel displaced, and the feelings of male unworthiness are induced. 
Julie’s work is to be a vessel of knowledge and inspiration to women.  This is commonplace to you, as she’s already witness to this in your home which overflows with associates, visiting just to draw on her vibrancy, her energy, her creativity, her wisdom,”  with this Athena lowered her head and wept.  Tears dribbled down my cheeks.  “I bow in reverence to your beauty my love,” she whispered to me. 
She continued, “so, henceforth, she and I will naturally commence, gently so her body learns to work with my energy, to speak with women.  I will be present and I will impart that which I know to be true.  It is time to do this work.  Never before has the universe’s god and goddess energy been so out of balance. 
No-one can make someone else unhappy.  Women are feeling deep unhappiness.  They blame this low emotion on their lover, boss, mother, friend.  The greatest secret and ability to gain, is to have the empowerment to turn to oneself and discover the truth behind the feelings of unhappiness.  If this could become a daily meditation so too would women turn less to food, less to attire and gossip, all the cover- ups they have implemented, to glean happiness.  And in this discovery, they will learn the skill of finding the answers within themselves.  Instead of blaming others for considered poor achievements, they will turn with wisdom to their own self and seek the beliefs to be changed that will further create the desired outcomes.  And in this, a woman would then be regaled as a truly great leader.”
She paused, sighing, “as did I spring from my father Zeus’ head, so too did Julie from her father, in that she has his wisdom, creativity, inner strength, compassion.  Many women will resonate with this interaction - an interaction that has travelled down through time.  This is a truly beautiful acknowledgement for a woman to achieve.
Now, to Julie’s strength.  As like a true warrior, she is never defeated.  For her there is always a new strategy to be applied, always a new compromise to be considered.  Surely, these are fine warrior skills.  And in this work, she has excelled in combating the discriminations of society against your progeny.  I humbly acknowledge the pain and suffering you endure, but I believe you are now fully cloaked with the grace they have brought to your lives.  
Julie mostly singlehanded changed the views of social systems, education systems, health systems to forge a path for her beloved sons.  Never was she halted in her path.  When up sprang an obstacle, so she adeptly leapt to the side, skirting the issue.  Always and always forever, she has, and will continue, to take people with her.  She embraces those who would be deemed to be detrimental to her cause, to her bosom.  She melds their will, enfolds them in her embrace and fills them with her loving trust.  It is to be said, her easy glamour is a clever coat of armour.  This armour, in itself, has softened opponents.   And on occasions when this glamour has created jealously, so then does she have a way of dropping the opponent’s guard.
I honour the abundance you have provided for Julie.  We will work from this abundance as its energy in itself is glorious.  Through her, I will impart and instruct the skills of finding one’s goddess.  With small steps this work will be grasped by one, then two, then many.  The raised human energy will commence the healing and balance of the universe.  It only takes one person to step forward with courage to start the change.  I will protect our energy.  You Pallas, will provide the stability.  Julie will be the mortal ambassador for our work.  This is your time Pallas, to awaken to your role.  Your support and encouragement is doubtless.  May you rest well with this knowingness - a knowingness you have always felt in Julie.
So for you, for Julie and for me, we have all come home.
This is the first of many talks.  I will love you and await your return to our next conversation. Goddess speed is ensured….,” and she faded.
Paul slumped and rubbed his forehead as if to erase the information.
I drew my knees up and whispered,  “Whatever Paul, it feels so good.  It feels natural.  It feels like me.  I feel empowered.  I feel I ‘know’ myself’,” I concluded honestly.   We stared at each other, words seeming inappropriate.